


You Terrify Me

by catemonsterq



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Starfleet Academy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 07:16:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13970031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catemonsterq/pseuds/catemonsterq
Summary: Leonard McCoy swore to himself he'd never fall in love again, but everything changed when he met Christine.





	You Terrify Me

**Author's Note:**

> Title and general inspiration for this story came from Glen Phillip's song "Everything but You". Thanks goes out to craftingkatie for beta-ing and encouraging me to actually post some of the things I've written in the past.

Leonard had just been settling into life at Starfleet when Christine had waltzed into his life. He was just getting used to the routines he'd set up to have some semblance of his old life. Waking up every day at 0700 even if he didn't have class until 1000; a run each morning followed by the same breakfast. None of the things he did made him feel any better about the disarray his life was in after Jocelyn left him. He still missed waking up to the smell of fresh coffee and bacon that she'd made him for breakfast every day, even the day she'd packed her bags and left. 

If he was honest with himself, he knew he was better off without Jocelyn in his life. She weighed him down, and whereas he'd never take back having had Joanna with her, he wished he could take back most of their failed marriage. The day Jocelyn walked out the door he promised himself he'd never fall in love again - it wasn't worth the trouble. She'd prevented him from realizing his dreams of surgery and he wasn't going to let another woman stop him now. 

Christine Chapel was a pretty blonde nurse who shared one of his labs with him. She'd captivated him the moment she'd walked into the room. Jim noticed him noticing her immediately and wouldn't shut up about it. Still, Leonard remembered what happened the last time he'd gotten involved with a woman and did his best to bury his feelings deep in his chest. 

A month or so into the semester he got paired up with her for a lab and it took everything in him to forget how good it felt to have her hand touch his shoulder to get his attention when the agar in the sample needed checking. He went back to this room that first day in a huff. He’d been pretending he could go the rest of his life without human touch but was having trouble following through and after the afternoon with Christine he just wasn’t sure he could make it. He figured maybe it'd get easier with time, and it'd be easier if Christine Chapel would stop grabbing his arm during class. He had a name, dammit, and she should use it. Being paired up with her was turning into torture. Jim loved it.

Two weeks later their lab ended and just as quickly as Christine had danced into his life, she'd danced out of it. Leonard was on the path for general surgery, Christine was taking classes in immunology. He was doubtful she'd be in any of his other classes and he told himself he was happy about that. Now if only he could stop thinking about her, his life would be back on track. 

He was on his morning run, thinking about the coffee that waited for him at the end of his trail when he thought he saw a familiar blonde bun. Before he knew what he was doing, he had stopped and turned to jog towards it. "Christine," he called out while mentally kicking himself. When she turned and smiled at him something inside him twisted, hard, and he knew he was in over his head. 

Now that he had her attention, though, he had no idea what he was supposed to do next. Luckily Christine kept up some small talk as he fumbled over words and tried to get up the nerve to ask her out. He managed to ask her to dinner alright, but when she asked where he blanked. God, he just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Christine smiled at him again and things cleared in his head for just a moment. He chose a time and place and they parted ways. Leonard was pretty sure he floated the rest of the way to the dining hall. He certainly didn't taste any of the coffee. 

 

Months started passing faster now that he was seeing Christine. She always seemed to know just what to say to him when some idiot rubbed him the wrong way, or he felt discouraged by a technique he wasn't able to master just yet. He found himself laughing more than he had since he was a child when she was near - it took a solid month for his cheek muscles to get used to the grin that came over him anytime she looked his way. 

When he and Christine had first started dating, it had taken him awhile to get used to how dazzling he found her. Her smile, her wit, everything about her captivated him in those first months. He was still a bit surprised someone could look so fetching in a pair of scrubs but chalked it up to her good genes. 

The longer they dated the closer Leonard found himself to the edge of a precipice. He'd teetered towards the edge of it a few times, struggling to find balance, then Joanna would call him from Jocelyn's phone and something in his heart would break again as he remembered the pain and ruin of his last relationship. He'd stumble back from the edge a bit and would spend a few days trying to remind himself why he never needed to fall in love again. In these days he'd tell himself Christine was just a warm body, someone to keep him occupied because as much as he'd tried in those first months, he knew he could not go without human contact. He also knew he was lying to himself when he said that. 

Before they knew it, the end of the semester was upon them. Jim had some cockamamie idea to have a dance just like they used to do at the end of the semesters of high school back in Iowa. Leonard had rolled his eyes at the idea, but Christine thought it'd be fun and before he knew it he was in a suit and tie knocking on her door. 

The moment Christine opened her door, dressed for the dance, Leonard felt himself leaping for the edge of the cliff and jumping. He was speechless as he took in her strapless A-line dress, soft hair falling gently over her shoulders. He smiled dumbly at her as he reached for her hand and recovered some of his words. They walked to the dance hall hand in hand, a mischievous grin in Christine's eye. Leonard suspected she knew just what she was doing to him and that she enjoyed it. 

The music could be heard from outside the dance hall. Jim had found a band to play and somehow roped their entire class into coming to this event. Leonard had trouble recognizing people outside of their Starfleet uniforms. He found himself more thankful for Christine than ever when they were walking around saying their hello's - she called each of their peers by name as if she knew how in the dark he would have been otherwise. He excused himself to get them glasses of wine from the bar and she kissed him on the cheek. He tried (and failed) not to blush. 

Two glasses of wine in hand, Leonard turned to walk back to the spot he'd left Christine only to find no one there. A flare of panic crept up his spine until he spotted her, twirling on the dance floor with Jim. Leonard pretended not to be jealous that he'd missed out on Christine's first dance and forgot about it entirely as Jim spun her around again, this time close enough that the fabric of her dress brushed Leonard's knees, taunting him. 

He mused that he felt a bit like he was the one spinning on the floor right now. He hadn't been entirely sure of his footing since Christine opened her door that evening. He was falling head over feet and it was terrifying to him. He took a sip of wine to try and ground himself as the song ended and Jim walked Christine over to his table, winking as he handed Leonard her hand. 

Before Leonard could hand Christine her glass of wine she had pulled him out of his seat and onto the dance floor. "Oh Christ," he muttered under his breath as he tried desperately to remember some of the steps of the dances Jocelyn had made him learn before their wedding. He never thought he'd be using them again, most certainly never using them willingly, and he cursed himself for not trying harder to remember these so many years ago.

"Oh, hush" Christine whispered back as she turned to face him and snaked an arm around his shoulder. Before he knew it his hand was on her narrow hips and they were stepping in time to the music. As the music was reaching a crescendo he spun her around, amazed to find it was him who felt dizzy and not her. His heart was beating faster and faster, he could feel the panic rising in him as he began to realize what this feeling meant. Just as it was getting almost too much to bear, Christine stopped spinning and came back pressing herself tightly against his body. She was his anchor, he realized, as the room stopped spinning and he was able to breathe again. She kept him grounded. He was terrified of how suddenly and how much he needed her in his life. "I love you," she whispered for the first time in his ear as the song ended. She did not expect a reply, and Leonard was glad of that. He squeezed her hand in response and wondered to himself how long it would be before he would be able to admit to himself that he was falling head over heels for this beautiful woman. 

The night was passing in a blur to Leonard. He kept remembering the feel of her breath against his ear she told him she loved him and had given up on trying to hide the grin that kept creeping across his face. Christine saw a group of nurses across the hall and excused herself to go speak with them. Jim came back to the table just as Christine was leaving, and as he collapsed into a chair he asked: "what's gotten into you tonight, Bones?" Slowly, Leonard tore his gaze from Christine and turned towards his friend. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Jim was chuckling "Bones is in love!" 

Leonard didn't know what to say to that. He was still coming to terms with his feelings, still reeling from what she'd told him earlier in the night. Instead of responded he just lowered his gaze to the tabletop and sighed. "Jim," he asked, "what do I do here? I don't even know the rules of this game anymore. I promised myself I'd never play it again and yet here I am lost in the dark and Christine is like the only source of light." When he spoke those words to Jim it was like something inside of him clicked into place. He was still falling down that cliff he'd jumped off earlier in the night, but suddenly now he was able to orient himself.

Jim laughed at him again, "Bones, there are no rules in the game of love. Just do what feels right." The two of them turned their gaze towards the corner of the room Christine was standing, laughing, in. "Besides, what are you so anxious about? Any man in this room would be lucky to have Christine by his side, let alone to have her adoration the way you do. It's so obvious how she cares for you, Bones. Stop second guessing yourself and enjoy it!" He clapped his friend on the shoulder and pulled out a flask from his pocket, "Enough mushy stuff. Here, have some liquid courage and go spend the rest of your night with your girl." Leonard took a swing of the whiskey from the flask and focused on the burn that traveled down his chest to his stomach as he crossed the room to Christine. 

As he reached her side he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him, enjoying the feel of her body pressed against his. She leaned up to kiss his cheek then smiled as she gestured to the group, "Everyone, this is Leonard McCoy. He's the doctor I've been telling you about." Leonard felt a blush beginning to creep up his neck knowing that she'd talked about him. He was beaming with pride at being introduced in such a way. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I love you, too." 

God, he was a fool for this woman.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/catemonsterq)!


End file.
